Mortality

Now I'm a some-what healthy individual, I don't really exercise, but still a very particularly skinny individual. Today was/and still is a good day in terms of productivity, or at least I feel that way and I've been rocking to  the Django Unchained soundtrack after watching the movie this morning, freaking brilliant. It's usually these type of days that I let myself have a little nap, I've worked hard right? Got a lot of thumbs done, and concept work out of the way.

I rest my head on the pillow and just relaxing, I dunno what happened but I guess I was thinking about my parents splitting up, how my dad is eventually going to be living in a duplex by himself quite a ways away from the home that we all currently reside. I was thinking about how although not a death sentence necessarily, the separation and my lack of wanting to maintain a relationship with him all equates to a death of love, a family member, a parent and a human being.

A voice chirps in my head "Well, we all die alone anyways." Something that a classmate of mine once said, it was a rather light hearted conversation despite it all haha.

We all do die alone, even if in an event where multiple people die, your experience is yours and it will end regardless of what you do.

As I lay in bed thinking, the fact seriously dawned on me, I curled into a fetal ball and hid underneath my blanket as if to conceal my sadness away from an imaginary crowd or audience.

Someday the lights are going to go out.

The reality of it all is both sad and motivational, I got out of bed and went to my desk to write this and hopefully soon got back to work.

What am I doing with my life? What is important? How can I live less carelessly?